I Want It All

February 06, 2011

I Want It All

Over the weekend I celebrated my 32nd birthday. I have a hard time believing that I'm in my mid-thirties! It seems like just yesterday I was wondering what in the world I was going to do with my life...wondering, would I find "the one" to marry?...would I be blessed enough to have children? I feel so lucky to have found some answers. So, how could it be that I WANT MORE?!

Yes, it's true. I guess I'm just never satisfied. I don't care too much about material things--I'm happy in our little home, I don't wish we had fancy cars, and I certainly don't care too much about a high-end wardrobe. What I want is time. Don't we all? What I would love more than anything is to spend everyday with my baby and make 2 wedding cakes and maybe 6 "little" cakes every week. On top of that I'd like to take my dog on walks, keep the house clean and tidy, prepare gourmet dinners and homemade baby food, spend evenings relaxing with my husband and weekends out with my friends. I want to be the one who watches Isabelle belly laugh at Crockett, who changes her dirty diapers and puts her down for naps, and the one who witnesses her milestones. I want to be the one with my hands in cake batter and the one who creates a showstopping centerpiece at a wedding or helps make a birthday party the talk of the town. I want to be someone who my husband comes home to at the end of the day and says, "Wow, you are amazing."

Now that I've experienced a few weeks with Brian at work for most of the day I'm starting to realize how hard it will be for me to have it all. In order to have a successful business I must give up some time with Isabelle, and in order to be the hands-on mom that I want to be, I must cut back the cake orders (and learn to say "no" more!). Cutting back on anything is hard for me...but I do realize how lucky I am to have a bit of a choice in the matter.

Here I am making a birthday wish (40 hours in a day, please!). And yes, somebody else made me a cake for my birthday - my sweet mom made a decadent and delicious chocolate chip cookie cake!

Isabelle surrounded by her loving grandparents:

This is what makes it so hard to focus on work!

And this is what's really going to change my life. She's not really crawling yet, but somehow made her way from the playmat to this spot. Guess we need to start closing the baby gate!

Izzie loves her new highchair.

Crockett and Isabelle are quite a pair.

And on to some of the many cakes (and even more cupcakes!) that have been produced in the past several weeks.

Yoga birthday party! Definitely a 21st century trend.

A photo collage cake for our friend, Martha Ann Wardlaw

This was a first - a "judge's swearing in" celebration cake (the scales of justice):

Baptism cakes for Isabelle's 2 buddies, John Daniel Fogarty and Ann Carter McIntyre

A baby shower cake for my friend Mary Currie, who came to her shower just 5 days after sweet Carter was born almost 6 weeks premature! She is an avid bird watcher and particularly loves the "painted bunting."

And some tear jerkers ahead...I was asked by a mother who recently lost her 12 year old son to make a cake in honor of his birthday. She donated a birthday party "from James" to the Thompson Children's Home, complete with face painters, a magician, and of course a cake!

That same weekend I was asked to make a birthday cake for 8 year old Erica (a big fan of Lightning McQueen), who was diagnosed with brain cancer at age 2. After reading her caringbridge site (and crying my eyes out) I thought to myself, "how lucky am I that I can help bring joy to a terminally ill child?" Doctors expect that Erica only has 1 to 3 years left to live. These cakes are reminders to celebrate not only every birthday (even beyond your mid-thirties!), but also each and every day!